What I am about to speak of, you may fall ill to, but trust that I speaketh the truth! There is a massive beast, a chimera of sorts, that has grown to consume us all and we are now in the belly of that beast! That I beast I dare not speak of, but I must, for fear that others who's ears my feeble voice fall deaf upon, will perish in the flames of this burning bog!
It's name is, "Gigamyfacebebolinktwitrimdigsgoogyahooaolbook!" and it wants to consume the entire world! If you are about to unsubscribe from this feed or hit back on your browser I beg you do not! You maybe the only brave soul who can perpetuate the human race after we have all become enslaved to the beast that one might misleadingly refer to as a 'Social Network Megalith' when surely it is not just a big phallic rock! This is a living, breathing, entity that some might think was just too cool to resist and before you know it BAM! It's too late!!?!
Am I just paranoid or is the next paradigm shift going to be the rise of global consciousness? Forgive the obvious, as if you can read this post you likely are one of a large group of people that have heard or read some metaphysical piece of journalism since so-called evolution of civilization. It's right there in you race everyday about the world is going to end in 2012 (or some positive thinkers say 'change', I wish everyone would think like them). One thing is for certain everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, including the Pope (I'm guessing here) and the U.S. Whitehouse have a blog or twitter.
Okay, speculation aside, does your grandmother have facebook? She doesn't? I'm sorry for your loss... Oh she hasn't passed yet? WTF does she do? Knit sweaters? Martha Stewart has twitter HO! OMG, what has become of me? Maybe its because I haven't twittered in the last two minutes? I am totally jacked in! There's no escape! I've even created a virtual shrine to all of my social network channels at: http://tr.im/BloggerHell ... Odly enough I would refer to the Alter of Infinite Social Shamelessness as Blogger Hell, but it's true. That is precisely what it is.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not allowed to complain as I roast here in the flames of my own self pity. If I let anything out besides a blood curdling scream I'm sure my handlers will stick me with a pitchfork. I'm talking about the blog police. Instead of holding me accountable for breaching a code of ethics with my freedom of speech, I am forced to write more and more until my fingertips peel off my keys.
Anyway, if you run into the Gigamyfakebookyhoodigsak or whatever, DO NOT SUBSCRIBE! If you do, you'll be sorry like me. If you're lucky you'll avoid Digsby at all costs! I'll see you on twitter!
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